So recently, I've been thinking a lot more as to my career, my life, my job. I've been planning the next few years roughly in my head like the boring stuff of wanting to ideally be moved out by 21, pass my test, get a decent car, spend 2 years at this job and possibly then start looking at another, the trivial things really.
But one thing that has always bugged me, that I know I'd never have the guts to do would be to start up my own business. I have so many ideas stuck in my head; in my dreams I have my own mini empire of an array of my ideas being successful... But I know in reality, I can't and first and for most don't have the guts to take such a huge financial risk right now or maybe ever.
I admire anyone who starts up their own business, and follows that dream. I think what bugs me is that I wouldn't know how to do it for a start. What to start with and who to start with - its all just confusing, its not as simple as writing something down on a piece of paper. It takes time and a lot of money.
Another thing that bugs me personally, is that I feel that I'm not smart enough, like no one will take me seriously, my family and friends say I'm smart but I don't feel I am. I know you don't have to be smart to run a business, but I just feel like I'd make a mockery of myself.
So do any of you have a dream that maybe your too scared to pursue or delve into? If you are, what makes you feel like you can't, and do you think you ever will?
Do you have any good advice?
Emma Victoria
xox (P.S Don't forget to check out my Haul Video on my YouTube channel which I uploaded yesterday!)
51. My butt and boobs are probably the hardest things to buy for ever. 52. Even though I model my self confidence is still only 5% - but its always growing! 53. My body confidence post was the first time I wore a swimsuit in 3 years. 54. I have pasta about 5 times a week, whether I do it for my lunch or dinner. 55. I always leave my washing in a huge pile in my room and just do it all in one big blitz. 56. I still read the texts which my ex sent me saying how much he admired me - and still to this day I feel my heart just hurt a little. 57. My camera's seem to magically just break or lose battery extremely fast before my eyes. 58. I'm probably the worst person in the world at editing YouTube videos. 59. I still need to do my Rockabilly look book that I promised my friend I'd do 5 months ago (I will do it, I know I will!) 60. I've only just figured out how to do scheduled posts on here (technology fail). 61. I still get nervous when I go on an aeroplane. 62. I really want to go to Lapland. 63. I want to meet a Reindeer! 64. My mum keeps telling me I should take up doing make-up but I'm really not that good. 65. I have watched the Gavin and Stacey box set around 100 times - that is no word of a lie. 66. My favourite film to watch at Christmas has to be Robbie the Reindeer - I'm pretty damn obsessed with that DVD. 67. My most embarrassing moment has to be when mum and me were shopping in Lidl and we got told we cant pay by credit card - neither of us had our debit cards on us (in our defence on their website it says all stores take Mastercard and Visa credit cards so it isn't really our fault as we did check). 68. I get really nervous when posting a YouTube video - I don't really know why. 69. I haven't done a driving lesson since the last week of June. 70. I have already bought all my Christmas presents for 2013 and already starting to wrap them! 71. I go on a strict detox 2 days before a gig and on the gig day to make sure my voice and body are in perfect condition when I go on stage. 72. The biggest crowd I have ever sang in front of is 300 people - and I was really scared. 73. My ex was the one who encouraged me to start singing some of my own songs - even though he never actually read any of them. 74. Only 3 people have ever looked at my song/poem book. 75. I am finally getting back into waist training with a corset after an 8 month break. 76. I'm really scared about doing my driving test. 77. My favourite drink I buy in the shops is the Drench Cranberry and Raspberry drink. 78. I like my coffee really strong with 2 sugars and a small dash of milk. 79. I always get my Christmas stuff down on 1st November and do my Christmas tree. I have a fake tree for my bedroom but we get a real tree for downstairs in the living in December. 80. I have a bad obsession with penguins. 81. I really don't like having to study video games in Media - they bore me to complete death. 82. I wish I never gave up photography A2 - but I really wanted to focus more on English as I'm really passionate about English. 83. I'm specialised in working with children with severe disabilities and I specialise in children with Cerebral Palsy and quadriplegia. 84. I can never work when I know my brother is in hospital - don't even try to cheer me up as it won't work. 85. I never thought I would get to 40 followers on my blog - let alone 5! 86. I'm really struggling to think of more facts about me.... 87. I really love Blackcurrant and Raspberry Jelly. 88. I really love rugby - I support England, Leicester Tigers and my birth team Harlequins. 89. I really want to move to Brighton when I'm older/can afford to. I really love it there. 90. I'm really loving the plum and berry colours for winter this year. 91. I want to buy a new camera. 92. I have a bad habit of constantly changing my mind on my hairstyle. 93. I want wavy hair - my hair is so boring and stubborn when it comes to styling. 94. I can't stand the majority of the people in my village. They are all them 'eco' freak sort of people. 95. I currently have 15 candles lit in my bedroom which all smell of Strawberry & Pomegranate. 96. I change my bedlinen every week. 97. I built all the furniture in my room apart from my bed. 98. I really need to re-new my gym membership. 99. I'm going to stay up to watch the Ashes in Australia on tele - because I love Stuart Broad. 100. Even though I'm still battling with my health and depression I've become a much happier person in the last year after leaving the 2 boys who said they admired me to the end of the world and back. I'm finally back on my feet, slowly and steadily, but even with my trust issues still in place I'm meeting some nice lads who are proving to me there are still some nice lads around! Well that's it! If you have any blog suggestions then make sure you comment! Don't forget to join my blog via GFC on the right hand side - at 50 followers I'll be holding a giveaway! Love from Emma Victoria xoxoxo
