Personal; I Have An Idea.

So recently, I've been thinking a lot more as to my career, my life, my job. I've been planning the next few years roughly in my head like the boring stuff of wanting to ideally be moved out by 21, pass my test, get a decent car, spend 2 years at this job and possibly then start looking at another, the trivial things really.

But one thing that has always bugged me, that I know I'd never have the guts to do would be to start up my own business. I have so many ideas stuck in my head; in my dreams I have my own mini empire of an array of my ideas being successful... But I know in reality, I can't and first and for most don't have the guts to take such a huge financial risk right now or maybe ever.

I admire anyone who starts up their own business, and follows that dream. I think what bugs me is that I wouldn't know how to do it for a start. What to start with and who to start with - its all just confusing, its not as simple as writing something down on a piece of paper. It takes time and a lot of money.

Another thing that bugs me personally, is that I feel that I'm not smart enough, like no one will take me seriously, my family and friends say I'm smart but I don't feel I am. I know you don't have to be smart to run a business, but I just feel like I'd make a mockery of myself.

So do any of you have a dream that maybe your too scared to pursue or delve into? If you are, what makes you feel like you can't, and do you think you ever will?

Do you have any good advice?

Emma Victoria

xox

(P.S Don't forget to check out my Haul Video on my YouTube channel which I uploaded yesterday!)

Lifestyle: Valentines Day...

'Singletons'

I know, its getting to that time of year again, where all the couples will be on overload with PDA (public display of affection) - and yes, I respect that they love each other, but what about us poor singletons left on our own... Well here is my plan!

Even though I've recently started dating guys again, (after FINALLY getting enough confidence to do so now!), I'm still going to be single on Valentines Day. So what do I plan on doing?! NOTHING!

Yup, that's right, nothing. I'm going to ignore all the lovey dovey stuff, and just carry on with my life! 

My advice to you would be to do the same, round this particular day of the year, all the people who are single seem to become super observant of all the people in relationships, and really, you are only going to make it a million times worse for yourself! 

Maybe get a DVD, make a milkshake, get your pyjamas on and relax - or go down the gym, have a really good workout and feel proud of yourself! (PSST - THE NEW LEGO MOVIE COMES OUT ON THE 14TH GO FIND A FRIEND TO SEE IT WITH YOU!!) Its all about self evaluation - and if you want to find a date for Valentines day this year or next year, then remember this "For other people to love me, I have to love myself" - men and women love people who can be confident! (If you struggle with body confidence in particular don't forget to check out my body confidence post!).

People with a Valentines

I thought it'd be nice to include both sides of the story! I've also come to realise that even the people in relationships, seem to come under a lot of discrimination for valentines day. If you do have a boyfriend/date then maybe try and do something a little different, maybe something sentimental. This year my friend has made a photo album of all the memories she has had with her boyfriend, she's handwritten them all and made it like a huge collage in a book and its absolutely beautiful. 

Instead of buying a card and flowers, why don't you make something for your loved one? It will honestly mean more then a piece of card from a shop! 

But my biggest piece of advice for you would be... be spontaneous, and no not just on valentines day - all year round. Why should it take for one day for you to show your love? Do something special every once in a while, go for a walk at midnight. 

So one thing I want to know from you guys is...

What is the cheesiest chat up line that someone has said to you? 
Mine has to be "If you stood in front of a mirror and held up 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world."

Lots of Love

Emma Victoria 

xoxox

YouTube - HELP! Moral Dilemma/Life Decisions Video

I'm hoping to post a little more on my YouTube now, I don't really have much spare time but I am trying! Today's video is about me needing a bit of your help! I'm in a moral dilemma!!

Please help me guys!

Love

Emma

xoxoxox

Blogmas Day 21: Yule Log Preparation & Tips!

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Okay, so tomorrow is when I start making my Yule Log for Christmas Day - each year we take it in turns to do a different dessert. Last Year we had a Christmas Pudding, which means this year we have a different dessert and again next year we have Christmas Pudding. It just mixes things up a little bit. Seeing as I'm now able to cook (whether I'm good at it is a different matter completely!) My Dad and I take it in turns to do the dessert or starter each year, I normally opt for the dessert as I have a sweet tooth and love super Christmasy desserts! And I haven't made a Yule Log since I did cooking at school... SO I'M DOING IT AGAIN!

Basically... I have tried to devise a plan to make this run as smoothly as I possibly can make it... Me being me I panic when something goes completely wrong and always seem to think that chocolate will be able to fix it (well it fixes 99% of the problems in my life!!) So... 

• Tomorrow - I will bake the sponge in the morning and leave to cool and later add the chocolate buttercream icing (probably my favourite part) I will then leave this to set and cool in the fridge for 24 hours so the buttercream can set!
• On monday I will melt some white chocolate to put over the yule log to give a Christmas snowy log effect (I think its a cool idea but whether it will work is another matter, you'll see on boxing day when I do my picture post if it has or not!) 
• I will then leave this to set until Christmas Day and then I will get it out of the fridge just before our main dinner to get to room temperature!

I've decided to use the baking queen Mary Berry's recipe as I always use and trust her recipes when I bake!

Tips & Ideas

• Someone recommended I put a drop of Cherry Liqueur in the batter mix?
• Use baking parchment below your cake mixture before baking - it will make it easier to lift out the tray!
• Roll the sponge really really slowly!
• Don't worry if it cracks, it just makes it look a bit more rustic!
• Some people recommend rolling the sponge before putting icing in the middle so its more malleable? 

Just have to wait and see won't we!

Chocolate Cuddles

Lots of Love

Emma Victoria

xoxox

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What's Going On In Life?

I always ask myself, "what's really going on?" - so much has happened in these past 2-3 month's with my relationships, work, college, friend's and pretty much everything! I thought I'd do a little life post again, as I feel it's been a while since we've had one. I know I usually do OOTW's on a Wednesday  but today I'm just really not feeling inspired, plus I'm in pain, so I came to the conclusion I'd just do this instead! I don't want to mope and groan, but sometimes its better to just get it all out your system in one go... right?

So where do I start? Okay lets start with probably the most horrendous and hardest part to just get it out of the way... WARNING - here comes the emotional bit.
Relationships and me just aren't really mean't to be. Who remember's the whole relationship/friendship (read these posts to kind of get the hang of it all: one, two & three). Well it's all this pa lava that's getting to me - I mean don't get me wrong, I'm completely over him and how he treated me with the lying and going behind my back the whole time but I just feel so lonely at the moment, like I don't have anyone to just give me a cuddle when I just need it. I wish that my little heart could be fixed, and that I didn't have trust issues now. My friends are being absolute stars and helping me through it all, but I just don't think I can get over these issues of trusting someone with my heart again. Have any of you got any suggestions on what to do? 
Health well lets say I've not been a lucky bunny with health this past year, no matter what I seem to do, it is always jeopardised by my sporadic health. Lets start with September last year, I had a major chest infection, which me being me, decided I'd be fine, until the point I started coughing so much and then I threw up. Only to go to the doctors and find out I had pneumonia - good one Emma. It took me around 9 weeks to recover, in and out of hospital alongside several medications and an inhaler I'm still on now. After leaving college I felt fine, until I then got another cold, which went straight to my chest, again on medication for 5 weeks, I got better. I had a fair amount of time being perfectly well and feeling healthy, until I broke 2 toes, not even a week after my 18th Birthday. I don't even have

the excuse of being drunk - I was messing around with my friend, he pushed me a little too hard and I whacked my foot against the solid corner part of the sofa. Smooth. And on the 5th August I fell down the stairs, and now it's come back to bite me. 3 weeks ago, I started having majorly painful problems with my spine/back. So after 4 appointments at the doctors, I finally had a spinal x-ray at the hospital last Thursday, and have to wait a week for the results. 

College is driving me mad. Don't get me wrong, I love studying, but because of all the problems with my spine I'm missing lessons, and it's annoying me cause I just want things to get back to normal. I've had the day off yesterday because of the amount of pain I was in and having several spasms in my back in the morning alone.

So what's happening in your lives that you just wish would get better so you can live your life like normal?

However, I've bought lots of little bits for Halloween this year, and I've started my Christmas shopping! This weekend I'm getting the Halloween decorations down and the Christmas decorations - SO EXCITED! Which brings me to - Christmas posts!! Is there anything you would like to see in my Christmas posts?! 

Lots of Love

Emma Victoria

xoxo

P.S Friday I will be posting a little Pumpkin carving post - even though I won't be carving my pumpkins till next Wednesday (which I will also blog about too!)

Body Confidence Week!

Well, this week has been Body Confidence Week and what better way to promote this then showing you my figure. I was originally going to do this post at the beginning of the week, but honestly, I didn't have the guts. It was only when my friend and photographer Eddie said to me "Its Body Confidence Week for Christ sake Emma!" until then I didn't realise how stupid I really was being.
I have also faced a fear by taking this picture - I haven't worn a swimsuit in 2, nearly 3 years because they are so figure hugging, and I was always worried I would be judged - so here goes...

I use to be super self-conscious and always wore frumpy clothes cause I hated my figure and here I am now facing my fear of wearing a swimsuit and posing in front of a camera. 

I Hate: 
My thighs
My tummy
My Butt
My Boobs
My Back
My Neck

But I'm beautiful. It shouldn't matter what anyone says about my figure, or my boobs or my butt, or what size jeans I take. Nothing else matters. You can be a size 6 and be beautiful and curvy, you can be a size 26 and you will still be beautiful and curvy! Beautiful is not and never will be defined as a number.

Never let anyone tell you that you have to be a certain size to be considered beautiful or perfect - a) beauty isn't a number b) there is no such thing as perfect in society; perfection is in the eye of the beholder.

So what's your biggest body fear? Why don't you face it? Why should it matter what anyone else thinks? 

Have you ever compared your figure to someone else's and wish you had there's instead of your own? WHY?! Okay, I admit, I have done this many times in my life, and sometimes I do wish I could trade my "well-known" and curvaceous boobs and booty for something a little smaller - but they are part of me and what people recognise me as. I'm learning to love my body, yeah it's not easy and you can't just change your outlook of yourself as quick as a flash, but you can start by making small changes.

Here's a task if you struggle with seeing yourself as beautiful. Everyday look in the mirror - and you MUST pick one good thing about yourself, whether its your eyes, your hair, anything and then write it down, fold it up and put it in a box. In one month, open this box up and look at all the things you have written down. Or even better, get your friends to write things down into a box anonymously and read all the beautiful aspects about yourself!

You are beautiful no matter what anyone says or thinks - if I can bare myself to you, then you can do it for yourself!

Lots of love

Emma Victoria

xoxox

P.S - Make sure you like my Facebook page and follow my blog. I will be having a 50 follower giveaway and I need 13 more followers (on GFC) to launch this giveaway!

P.P.S - Only just noticed the cuts on my legs in the second picture - but hey, proves no one is perfect!

Beauxoxo Runner-Up Giveaway Bag! (I Also Need Your Help!)

Good day my absolute lovelies! If I hadn't already mentioned, I entered the Beauxoxo Giveaway on Facebook and ended up being one of the runner-ups! (Which for me is a huge achievement as I don't tend to win that much!) So I thought I would share with you all what I received in my little bag! I'm actually really chuffed with what I got as well, there is always that risk of getting something you don't like, however I haven't found that with this and I love everything inside!


Lets start with the picture on the right, these are all the accessories I received! The first one is a large bow from Beauxoxo itself, I've been questioning myself whether to get one or not and when getting one in this little bag it has definitely swayed me to wanting to get more! I love the mixture of different colours on this bow as its super easy to pair up with a few outfits! This is a thin crocodile clip on the back and sits really nicely in your hair! Because my hair always has a super shine to it, bows tend to slip out a bit so I just like to secure then with another clip or wear them while my hair is tied up! This would look perfect paired up with a sock bun near the top of your head, as its a very cutesy sort of look! 



The next accessory is this beautiful Glitter Bottle Necklace from Megan Jane Jewellery. I absolutely adore this colour blue in this necklace! It is stunning and super gorgeous! This pairs up amazingly with my Classy Bella Dress in Turquoise from Lindy Bop! I also super love that this has a gold chain on it, instead of a silver chain! I do find a lot of products has simple thin chain's making just the charm on the necklace the only focus! However, I like the loops on this chain as they aren't too small and just add to this beautiful little piece!

The next gorgeous little accessory is this gorgeously cute brooch from 'Love From Hetty & Dave'. This is so super adorable, and I may just purchase a few more of their products! This cute little Ice Cream Brooch is made from leather and the ice cream sewn on to it! I love that it is in a rosette shape, just makes me love it even more! Its also really easy to pair with a few of my dresses which come to mind straight away with the use of the 3 different colours making it super versatile to match things up! 



The last accessory I got was this gorgeously adorable Cat nap ring from I Love Crafty - this is so super cute, and I like wearing this on my little finger, just cause it looks soooo cute! (My nails are also painted in Strawberry Ice Cream Shade by Barry M). 

The last 2 items I got in my goodie bag is the 2 beauty products - the first is the Steam Cream 'Freshely Handmade Moisturiser' this can be used on your face, body and hands! This smells so super divine, and feels amazing! I might go and purchase some more of the products in the very near future! (You can find out the process of how they make this moisturiser with Steam on their website here). The next product is this beautiful Macaroon Bath Melt in Coral Bay from Miss Patissrie. I super duper LOVE that this has a petal on top, and it combines my 2 favourite things - bathroom smellies and baking into one! I will definitely be having a bath to try this gorgeous little thing out!

Any who my dears! That's all from me today! I will see you all on Sunday for my weekly overview! I also have 2 things in mind but not sure whether to pursue in them or not... The first being should I create a Facebook Page for my blog? It may help to bring more people to my blog? What do you think? The second being should I do a body confidence post on being a plus size blogger, how I feel about the fashion 'restrictions' and how I cope within it, shedding light on how you can make yourself more confident? I feel at the moment maybe my content is a little bland and needs spicing up a little more so if you have any suggestions at all I'd be super thankful!

Tonnes of Love & Hugs!

Emma Victoria

xoxo

Lifestyle - How I Get Over Someone & Relationship's

Today I thought I would do a lifestyle post, which is very close to my heart at the moment! I haven't done a little emotional post in a while and thought that now would be a good time to post one! 

So where do we begin? Remember in previous post's (here, here) I mentioned the crazy roller-coaster friendship/relationship thing I was in, well its carried on. However, the past 3 months all we've done is argue, and its come to the point where its pretty ridiculous. I began to get fed up with being treated like an idiot, and also found out he was lying to me. Any surprise he made some excuse about it? I wasn't too surprised. The whole distance thing got to me in the end, and now its been 16 days since we had our last proper conversation, which honestly I'm pleased about. I found in the end that I was always making the effort, starting conversations, keeping conversations going. Honestly? It felt like he just didn't care any more. Why should I care if he doesn't? I've always been one of them people who feels the need to apologise for no reason just so things are easy and there's no arguing, as I can't stand arguing! 

So what did I do to get over him? I did things to take my mind off thinking about him! And now, I couldn't really give a damn any more! Every time I thought about him, I'd have a rubber band on my wrist so I'd ping it hard, sort of a punishment to stop me thinking about him, and now it's worked! Feelings and routine are always that little more harder to change and get over; the thing I did to get out of routine of talking every day to this guy was talk to one of my close friends, my friend Ricky has been an absolute star for me! Every time I felt like an urge to talk to him or I was upset, Ricky would talk to me and remind me why I'm doing this! It doesn't happen overnight, but when you start to look at it from an outside perspective (looking in on the situation, instead thinking of yourself in the situation) you begin to realise why you are doing it, and it will only make you stronger! I'm doing it because I'm fed up of being treated like I have no feelings and that nothing matters in the other persons eyes! You have to be strong and persistent, but also determined to do it. I tend to be weak willed at things like this, but I've tried so hard to do this and get over him, and I will do it!

I think the most important thing to do is to keep yourself occupied, find an activity to do, even in the house when you probably think the most, you need to take your mind of the situation, and if you do think about it, remind yourself why you are doing it! I took cross stitch and knitting back-up, I find cross stitch very therapeutic when I'm upset or angry, it sounds silly, but pushing that needle through cloth, for me, is a release of trapped emotions. Another really important tip is that, don't stop making an effort to look good, because if you don't look good you can't feel good! I found the last time I was left heartbroken and hurt, all I did was wear a pair of jeans, a top and a leather jacket. It was pretty much all I wore, I wore no make-up just because I couldn't be bothered, I let my emotions get to me, which  I shouldn't have done! This time, I'm making the effort, because I know I'm worth it! Even going shopping can make you feel better, because you are looking for items to make yourself look good, and make you feel better! Make that person who hurt you, realise what they have lost!

I must admit, the first few days were a real struggle for me to do, constantly thinking about him, being upset because he never made the effort to speak to me, thinking what I'd done wrong- but I realised I was making all the effort. I'm now at the stage of not caring for this person any more; being friends is a two way thing, it shouldn't be just one person making the effort to communicate. I learn't the hard way, that sometimes things just don't work out the way you think they might. 

Overall, I would say that now, I'm definitely on the way to being over this person, and what they've done to me. Obviously, I don't want to say everything that has happened, cause some bits are private and I'd prefer to keep them to myself. Friends are really important when getting over someone and how they treat you. Even one friend can make a difference, for them to talk to you and take your mind off the situation, can be really important. But you have to help yourself overall, don't go telling yourself something that isn't true like 'Oh they are probably just busy', if they did care, they'd make the effort, especially after 2 weeks. You have to remember, you aren't the one who's lost someone, they have lost you, not the other way round. They've lost the person who is kind, affectionate and caring. 

If any of you wish to speak to me, or need advice, please feel welcomed to drop me a private email (anchorsawaybeauty@hotmail.com) and I will reply ASAP.

Also don't forget to look out for my lovely friend Anja's guest post.. This friday!!

Lots of Love

Emma Victoria

xoxo

Weekly Overview; 28th July

I've sewn labels in 47 items today!

I can't believe we are in the last 3 days of July... how quick is 2013 going?! I swear it will be Christmas before I know it! Any who, lets get on with my weekly overview! 

Today All I have done is sewing labels into my brother's clothes for his scout jamboree! My fingers are killing after threading a needle through clothes all day (since 10am) ouch. Early night tonight, after all that sewing (oh and watching Gavin and Stacey!)

Monday I have lots of errands to run, I need to put money into my bank, do some ironing, do my shopping list, do more washing and have a shower! Its just one of them boring house days which consist of baggy clothes and no make-up! I also have to go to the airport to see my lovely friend and band member Ricky off on his holiday! He won't be returning till the 2nd of September! I will also be doing my OOTW tonight because I just won't have the time tomorrow!

Tuesday I am off to London with my best friend to go shopping! Yay! I'm so excited! Me and my friend Charlie are going shopping as she wants to find an outfit for Summertime Swing and also just because we want to go shopping in London! Afterwards, I'll come home, relax in bed and watch a film! 

Wednesday I have to go food shopping, all on my own! Big stuff for me! A full weeks shopping to do for myself! I think Chocolate will definitely be going in the trolley! I may also (finally) do my Birthday Haul video, I know its been around 2-3 weeks since my Birthday but I've just been finding a way to do it!

Thursday I have to see the doctor!! I have to see the doctor for a check-up on my foot after breaking 2 of my toes! After having one of my toes re-set they just want to make sure that the toe is okay, I also get to find out if I can wear heels again! 

Friday I need to help pack all my brothers clothes for his scout jamboree and get all his stuff together! Just another relaxed day and getting all my stuff ready for the weekend too! I may even go DVD shopping if I have enough money!

Saturday I'm up super early to help get my brother to his International Scout's Jamboree, he is super excited about going and spending time with all his friends! Once my brother's gone my mum and dad are going away till Monday to a concert in Whistable (I think they are seeing the Blow Monkeys), which means, I'm home alone with my dog Freddie! I may get a takeaway just for myself as a treat, or I'll cook, it depends! I may bake a cake too seeing as I have the whole day (and house!) to myself! I think its Film Night too for me!

Sunday I have my best friend Charlie coming up and staying with me and we are going to Summertime Swing!! I'm so super excited about going and seeing the Jive Aces! I've no idea what outfit I'm going to be wearing yet either!!! Charlie will be staying over at mine, which means I'll post my Weekly Overview on Monday next week as I just won't have time next Sunday!!

Busy week ahead, but also super exciting! Also, tomorrow I will finally be posting a collage of some of my birthday photos, Wednesday will be a lifestyle post all about relationships and love and how to get over someone so if you need a bit of love advice then stay tuned! Also if you have any questions related to relationships then please let me know and I shall answer them in my post! Next Friday will also be a guest post (hopefully) from my lovely friend Anja!

Much Love

Emma Victoria

xoxo

Lets Start YouTube!

You are probably thinking 'this is Emma's second post today... what's going on?!'. Let me explain!

I had the snap decision today (for some very strange reason) to do a YouTube channel in relation to my blog! I had some ideas for some tags and product reviews which I can post on here as well as on YouTube, lets say, broadening the empire?

So please give it a little look, this is just the little Welcome message to my channel, but there will be more bits and bobs to come!

Love

Emma Victoria

xoxo

Advice For The Complicated Mind...

Now, many of you know that my blog is not just about my fashion and my beauty, but also a lot to do with my personal life, which I have shared very openly with you. Recently, I have been so confused with my emotions over so many things that have happened recently, some of which you know and some which you don't, but this will explain everything, but also complicate it some more...

To begin, many of you know, I have a complicated relationship/emotional status at the moment, last night this just got worse. This boy, who I've admired for months, whom I've told you about, we are just friends, but I honestly don't know what to do with myself anymore, I sometimes feel like giving up with my own emotions, I never know what to do, what to say, and I never want to make anything awkward... Now lets complicate what you just read; this boy probably doesn't even know how I feel, (typical teen romance saga I know, but just hear me out!) He probably just thinks I'm that friend who is just always super caring and there for everyone, but he is an exception, I'd do anything for him to be happy or to make him smile, and I'd be lost without him. If you know me outside of my blog, you may know or see me as the loud, happy, bubbly , excited girl who wants everyone to be happy and the girl who gets on with everyone, but when it comes to a guy I like, I become really shy and sheltered, I never want to talk about how sad I'm feeling or if there is something wrong, I always bottle my problems up and lock them in the cupboard. Now to complicate things even more, my ex-boyfriend who moved to New Zealand, emailed me last night. I honestly was not expecting this to happen or for him to even contact me ever again, a small paraphrase which I will share to you from the email- "I'm sorry we ended things the way we did, I feel like such a t**t for doing that to you. You are a wonderful girl and deserve a lot" knowing he still cared about me, even being 11,000 miles away broke and tore my heart and emotions into two. So what do I do now?Carry on as normal and pretend nothing happened, don't reply to the email, don't tell the other lad I love him? Or do I reply, tell the other lad, but wont that just complicate everything more?

Three months ago, my best friend Carly committed suicide; we were really close and we would talk about everything and anything, she was like my personal Jeremy Kyle when something was wrong and I needed help, and I could only ever thank her for what she did for me, but now I feel so lost what to do without her help and advice...

So here is when I come to you, my lovely bloggers and followers, what would you do about this situation if it was you? Would you get in touch with the ex and tell the boy you like him, or don't say anything and pretend everything is okay?

I'd love to hear your response and what you think about it all, and what you'd do!

For now, as I sit here in my room, staring out my windows at the bleak rain drops on my windows, listening to 'Heartache' by the Top Cats, I shall leave you, to carry on completing my summer shopping haul blog for you.

Much Love

Emma Victoria

xoxo

Your Head or Your Heart? ...

I'm confused, really confused. I have been so busy recently planning my dad's 50th Birthday party, sorting my room out with new furniture, working, revising, writing songs etc, I have felt like pulling my hair out and I have completely ignored about how I feel about someone who means the world to me... However, as I said I'm confused, I know in my head we can never be together, but my heart is telling me different. But who do I listen to, my head or my heart? To completely summarise my situation in a nutshell, I've fallen for my best friend, but he lives far away. So what would you do? For now, I will probably carry on, keeping myself busy until something comes up, but until that day I will try and work it out. 

Emma Victoria

xoxo

Hair-Care Update!

Being super cheeky today, I am blogging at work!! (Best be sneaky!) So... If you have been following my blog updates on my hair growth and hair care then you would know that I have been using the Lee Stafford Hair Growth treatment products, I had a ritual for while I was growing my hair. I vowed I wouldn't use any heat products on my hair i.e Straighteners, hair dryer, curlers etc, and this already improved the condition of my hair straight away. I used the Lee Stafford products every time I washed my hair, it made my hair feel and look so much better, as it was super brittle and horrible! 

TIMES HAVE CHANGED...

I have now stopped using the Lee Stafford Hair Growth Treatment as I have now reached my desired hair length (just below my shoulders  its not too long and not too short, and still easy to tie up!) and now I am onto retaining and maintaining my natural blonde hair! I often have many urges to experiment my hair with semi-permanent dyes, but this can also really damage your hair condition but as well as the pigment of your hair, especially with blonde hair like mine! I found that once I had dyed my hair electric blue back in December, I was left with a pale pigmented blue tone on the top layer of my hair, and slowly began to get annoyed with the colour of my hair! So I began experimenting...

 I first began to decide to bleach my hair, yes I was going to strip my hair of the horrible tone my hair had gone... BUT, I spoke to my hairdresser and she absolutely refused to put bleach anywhere near my hair as it would take away my natural light blonde hair! So we had a chat about what I could do... We made a shampoo mix for my hair to a) maintain a good healthy condition and b) remove the top layer of blue tone on my hair. What did we use? We used a mixture of ; Johnson's Baby Camomile Shampoo & Conditioner (yes we used the conditioner in the shampoo!), John Frieda Sheer Blonde Shampoo, and Lemon Juice. Lemon Juice and Camomile are natural ingredients used to strip your hair, without the effect and damages of bleach! Yes it has taken a while, and I am no longer use my shampoo 'potion' for my hair, but now using the John Frieda Sheer Blonde 'Go Blonder' range products. The the shampoo and conditioner are a thick yellow substance, and have a beautiful smell! I always use more then the recommended amount I usually use a large

handful of both for my hair, and massage the products thoroughly into my hair and onto my scalp. I wash the products out of my hair with Cold water and this gives your have a nice sheen look once dried. I find with using these lovely products is that your hair, just like the Lee Stafford products give your hair a lovely silky feel! I love my hair feeling good! Again, with the Go Blonder Products there is no bleach contained in the products, so again no risk of damaging your hair! Fantastic!! I have noticed my hair slowly going back to its normal colour, still a long way to go but its getting there slowly!
I originally bought the Go Blonder Products from Boots at £4 each (£8 in total) but I made the magic discovery that Amazon does a monthly scheduled delivery and it turned out cheaper! I now get 2 bottles of Shampoo and Conditioner every month for an amazing £3.60 a bottle, in total adding up to £14.40, and for the same amount (2 shampoo's and 2 conditioners) from Boots was £16 and Waitrose was an astonishing £28 for the 4 bottles! So if you are like me and cannot resist a free bargain, and your products delivered to your door, then Subscribe upto the Amazon deal! 

Much Love and I shall be catching up on my blogging as I have a big haul coming up in the next week or sol!

Emma Victoria

xoxo 

I Am Not Afraid To Walk This World Alone...

Hello my beauties! If you follow me on my Facebook or Twitter you will know that I have been away this week, hence why I haven't been blogging and the merry month of March has been a month I have been tight with money, so not many hauls to share with you!

However, I really thought I better write to you lovely lot, as you seem to take the time and read my blog, whether its about my beauty and fashion or whether I am feeling deep... Much like I am today.

So you are probably thinking what the title is all about, so let me explain. The past couple of weeks have been hard, and I have had to come to terms with a lot of stuff, I can't say publicly what some of these are, but honestly, they got me down... So lets explain.

Since around mid-February, I felt everything was crashing down around me, I cried, and I did the worst thing possible... Pretend everything was okay, not talk to anyone. I put that smile on my face, not the happy one... The "look happy and no one will realise what's going on inside" smile. Lets explain the title... What made everything much worse, was the fact my favourite band My Chemical Romance split - (if you didn't know many years ago I used to be into rock and heavy rock music and fashion, I wore a lot of black and heavy make-up, super short hair with an emo fringe...) Even though I no longer sported my 'Black Parade' themed fashion, MCR's music has got me through a lot of tough times, to then have them split, broke my heart. The title is lyrics from the chorus of one of my all time favourite MCR songs 'Famous Last Words' ... So, what did I do? I escaped, I ran away and I took everything into perspective. This week I went away to see my lovely friend in Leicester where we both went to see Olly Murs in Cardiff (sidenote; Olly was absolutely outstanding, even if he did rip his trousers and trip on stage.. Twice.) And by getting away from home for 4 days, not confronting the things that got me down, I then had the chance to understand what was happening and going on. Now, I'm back, when I was away, something followed me, and you know what I did? I ignored it. I rose above it. My subconscious became my friend, telling me "Sweetheart, you don't need to do this to yourself. You are better then this, and you are perfect, whether everyone or no one sees that, you are p-e-r-fect".

So my advice for you? 

1. Love - If you get down over love, especially at my age, pick your tiara/crown up off the floor, you are young and you have your whole life ahead of you! I know everyone says it, but honestly, you are so young, there are millions of people in the world, and there is someone for everyone, the only things you need to do is focus on is you and make yourself perfect for YOU, nobody else! You are stunning and gorgeous no matter what anyone says! So what you don't have the perfect teeth or the skinny figure with the big boobs and butt, but really, who wants to be a Barbie doll, when you can be you?! 

2. Trendsetter - For me especially this is the most important, don't stress if someone does something you uniquely do, its flattery! If someone copies your shoes, your dress, your make-up "your look" see it as a compliment! Maybe they think what you have done is good and they want to give it a go, don't see it as bad! You are the trend setter, be proud of that!

3. Music - Personally, music is a very important part of my life, as said above when MCR split, my heart shattered into a million pieces, but just cause the band split doesn't mean their music won't stop inspiring me and mending my wounds when I'm hurt. Especially now. On Sunday before I went away, I wore my Black Parade jacket, as if it were a bandage to make everything better, and honestly, it was a security blanket. The jacket gave me so much joy and happiness when I was younger and gave me so much inspiration, to which I can only thank MCR for. However, if you are down, my biggest, and maybe most important tip would be, don't listen to sad or depressive songs, they really will only make you feel worse - easier said then done I know (hypocrite of my own words at times, but truth must be told!) Listen to happy songs, that make you feel better! They will cheer you up! Pick a song that has a happy memory to over-ride the bad thought! 

4. You are YOU - This is probably the most important tip. Never, EVER, let anyone tell you that you aren't good enough. I have let too many people walk over me, tell me I'm not good enough or I wont be good at something... Prove them damn wrong! You can be whatever you want to do, if you put your heart and soul into it! Never let one person deny you a world of opportunities, and maybe if you are the one with doubt... Prove yourself wrong! 'Cause really, you can do anything you dream of, there really is no limits!

5. Wounds need time - I am a victim of my own crime. Lets say for an example, you accidentally cut yourself with a knife while preparing dinner, the cut won't disappear once it is ran under cold water. Wounds have a process...

• Open wound - this is when the wound is first created, everything around that wound hurts, no matter how much you try to deter it away. 
• Protection - Even when you apply a bandage or plaster to the wound, it doesn't make it disappear. It only helps to protect the wound from any more damage that may cause more pain.
• Pain - The wound may sting or be painful, the damage has already been done, there is nothing you can do, everything up till now is uncontrollable...
• Healing - Until now... In my view you can take the healing process in two ways.        1) Positive - You can turn every negative into a positive, you turn everything bad to good. You start with yourself - look happy and be happy. Your appearance can not only reflect your own feelings but can also make an effect on other peoples. Over-ride the bad with the good!  2) Negative - You see everything as bad, and the pain lasts longer then you want it to. You take everything good away from yourself and replace it with bad, healing seems a far far place away from where you are now. You are digging yourself in a hole you can't get out of alone... You need positive to give you a helping hand...

Honestly, these past couple of weeks I've been in a bad horrible place, I won't lie to you. Healing doesn't happen overnight, in fact it can take weeks or months, sometimes it may leave a scar, but even if it does just say to yourself "If it wasn't for this scar, I wouldn't be where I am now". I hate seeing people down and upset, whether I know them or not. I want people to know I am there for them, yeah I'm not a professional at this, but really who is? I learn from my own life experiences, even though everyone's experiences are different, the wounds take the same process to heal. So hold your head up high, things take time, and you have to allow that time to get yourself into that better place.

I want you to know, whether we know each other or not, that I am here for you. I am that shoulder for you to cry on, to try and help you through. Never let someone's words bring you down, they are just words. 

And again, the Famous Last Words

"I am not afraid to keep on living, I am not afraid to walk this world alone."

Sending you all lots of love

Emma Victoria

xoxo