Who would've thought it'd some what end the day after posting my previous post? I most certainly didn't... Well that's it, I didn't follow my heart, I followed my head - but I was reluctant. I haven't ever just moped and cried to myself, while wallowing in bed alone for a very long time, yet this seems to have just happened out of nowhere. I want to inspire, and help others, but how can I achieve this if I can't take my own advice? I always help people with their relationships, but when it comes to my own, I never know what to do, what to say or how to react...
This past year I've had 2 guys who meant the world to me, one I've known for years, and he became my best friend and the other through a passion of watching Rugby. Lets start with the latter... He moved to New Zealand in December to go to a rugby academy out there, he had a dual passport (British and Kiwi). Now the first guy, he was my best friend, he meant the world to me, and now I don't know what will happen... He wants to stay friends, but staying friends will only break me even more then I'm already broken now. Staying friends, means hiding how I truly feel, and realising what I wouldn't ever have... And now truly, the only thing I want is my ex to come back from New Zealand... We had our problems, but we were strong, and we loved each other, and even if we couldn't see each other, he would keep trying to see me when he could. He fought for what we had, and made the most of what we had together...
I wish I knew what to do, but for now, I will just hide away, and keep quiet...
I will be doing a haul in the coming week or so in between baking cakes and doing party decorations
Emma Victoria
xoxo
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