Times Change, Memories Fade...

Who would've thought it'd some what end the day after posting my previous post? I most certainly didn't... Well that's it, I didn't follow my heart, I followed my head - but I was reluctant. I haven't ever just moped and cried to myself, while wallowing in bed alone for a very long time, yet this seems to have just happened out of nowhere. I want to inspire, and help others, but how can I achieve this if I can't take my own advice? I always help people with their relationships, but when it comes to my own, I never know what to do, what to say or how to react... 

This past year I've had 2 guys who meant the world to me, one I've known for years, and he became my best friend and the other through a passion of watching Rugby. Lets start with the latter... He moved to New Zealand in December to go to a rugby academy out there, he had a dual passport (British and Kiwi). Now the first guy, he was my best friend, he meant the world to me, and now I don't know what will happen... He wants to stay friends, but staying friends will only break me even more then I'm already broken now. Staying friends, means hiding how I truly feel, and realising what I wouldn't ever have... And now truly, the only thing I want is my ex to come back from New Zealand... We had our problems, but we were strong, and we loved each other, and even if we couldn't see each other, he would keep trying to see me when he could. He fought for what we had, and made the most of what we had together...

I wish I knew what to do, but for now, I will just hide away, and keep quiet...

I will be doing a haul in the coming week or so in between baking cakes and doing party decorations

Emma Victoria 
xoxo

Valentine's Day Can Be Hard...

Its come to be that day in the year again were there is the segregation of those who are single and those who are in a relationship... Yup, its Valentine's Day; and to be quite honest with all of you, I am dreading it terribly. If you know me personally, you will know I had a very difficult year with relationships last year. One was a long distance relationship and the other was a long term one, which slowly turned into a on-off relationship before he moved away. I am not afraid to show my emotions after months of bottling things up about how I really felt, and the only people I can thank for helping me was my friends. 

How am I going to try and cope? - Okay, well, you can deem it stupid or silly but me and my best friend have actually sent each other a Valentine's Card as we have both recently become part of 'Singleton'. What I am also going to do is treat myself and keep myself busy. I am going to be doing a deep cleansing of my house, top to bottom. I will then bake myself, yes myself, some cookies (death by triple chocolate cookies if you really must know!) and not think about my feelings one little bit. Whether this will be successful or not I really don't know, but I will try my hardest. For me, I won't also be having my phone on me. The reason for this is, my ex who I am now friends with may text me, making me think emotionally of the past. I will try and keep strong, but please, if any of you feel like you are having an emotional breakdown tomorrow, treat yourself, indulge in something you love, because you deserve to be happy, just as much as those people who are in a relationship, if not more. Your knight in shining armour will come one day, until then just keep beautiful!

Tomorrow will be hard for myself, and for others who feel alone or upset, it can feel like everyone around you is in a relationship, and it can seriously play with your mind, just ignore it, easy said then done I know; but if you can ignore one thing, then that makes you just a little bit stronger then if you were to think about. And if you do think about the things you don't want to think about, don't punish yourself. Think of the bright magical future ahead. The past can't be changed but the future can.

You are all beautiful and amazing. And to me, it doesn't matter if one or a million people read my blog, the followers I have, each and every one of you make me happy and feel special that you actually want to read the rubbish I write about! 

Bless You All. 

Stay Safe.

Stay Beautiful.

Emma

xoxo

Looking Back & Changing

Now, every new year, everyone makes a 'New Year's Resolution', and do people usually stick to them? Honestly, they'd like to say yes, but the majority of the time people always give up or even forget about their resolution. However, this year I had 2 resolutions for myself. The first was to keep my second new years resolution, and the second was to lose weight. Now this is probably the most common resolution. I am now into my 23rd Day of my new diet, I last weighed myself last Thursday, and I weighed myself today and I have lost 2lb's. Now, 2012 was a really terrible year for me; my brother had major surgery in January (a year today), I fell ill with pneumonia, kicked out of college, 

and many other private issues. The only thing that kept me going was my boyfriend, Ollie; however in November we were both told the heart-breaking news he was moving back to New Zealand. Throughout the year, I began to comfort eat and began not to care about myself or what anyone thought. I locked myself away and wouldn't talk to anyone. But when my boyfriend left the UK, I decided I would change myself for the better, make myself happy. Now I have never really been skinny or slim. But I have tried many diets in the past and just gave up. I now have my own treadmill and cycling bike at home, as well as using 'fun' fitness exercises such as the Wii Fit! I am now doing a calorie control diet, I have 1500 calories (kcal) a day. You can eat what you want, when you want, you just watch your calories! This is working really well for me. I find its the healthiest way to lose weight, losing 1 or 2 pounds a week is healthy. Don't starve yourself, otherwise you will just crave all the time and constantly feel hungry and find yourself wanting to eat even more then before you started the diet!

The thing you need the most during a diet and trying to lose weight, is support and encouragement. Now, I still speak to my now ex Ollie, even though it hurts me emotionally, (its still early stages since he left and we split, be positive and be happy!) But every week we Skype each other,  he asks me how my diet is going and if I have lost any weight. Now if I gain for whatever reason, we talk it through about where I went wrong or what happened, and we work and improve on the previous week. Now, in the diet I am doing, it says that if you go wrong one day, forget about it and start again the next day. Don't dwell and give up if you go wrong once, everyone makes mistakes and has slip ups, don't beat yourself up over it!

I am someone who constantly helps people when they need me (even though I am someone who bottles up my emotions when I am upset or sad, just cause I don't want to be judged, another habit I am trying to break, a challenge? A very hard challenge for me.), no matter how small the problem or issue is. I always listen when people need advice or help, I encourage them if they need it. And if you are doing the same as me and have stuck to your goal, or want to lose weight, then be positive, don't let one bad day get you down when there is thousands ahead of you which YOU can make happy! If any of you lovely people need advice, or even just want a little chat, then I am always here to listen and help. You can comment on here or email me on cutecupcakebeauty@hotmail.com

Now, remember, You are amazing and beautiful. When you do something, don't do it for others, do it for yourself. At the end of the day, you are important and should be happy!

Keep Smiling Beautiful!


Emma
xoxo