Being a "Plus Size"...

This has been bugging me for a little while now... 

Yes I'm plus size.

and Yes... Men are attracted to me!!!!!!!

Honestly, the amount of times people put me down for my size and not being a size 10 doesn't bother me but what does bother me is when they think men won't be attracted to me because I'm a bigger girl.

I've battled with my weight for many years now - and only since I've started modelling have I started to learn to accept it. And since accepting it, my confidence has grown by 1000%!

But (there's always a but isn't there...) everytime I hear other people say "She's pretty but if she lost 'this much' weight then she'd get a man no problem" - I DO NOT NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT TO FIND A MAN.

Honestly, my love life isn't exactly the worst - yes I may well be single right now, but I've started dating again and seeing people! People also seem to think that I won't be able to "pull" an attractive guy because I'm not that slim... WRONG. You can't say all guys have the same taste for women, as the same for women with men and women and women and men and men and so on - you just can't!

Since dressing in this style, I get littered with compliments all the time but the most common one has to be "How do you get the confidence to wear these sort of clothes?" I didn't and sometimes I still get a bit worried if I'm pushing the boundaries too far for my figure... But why should it matter how I dress to the rest of the world! 

I know this is a kind of ranty post, but I just want people to understand that I am a human being just like everyone else, and I do sometimes get a little hurt by rude comments, whether you mean them or not. 

Another little note I'd like to add, as I still find many people at my college and sometimes even my friends think that looks are the thing that attracts you to a person - they are only a small factor, obviously you have to like the way a person looks in your eyes (not everyone is Marilyn Monroe y'know) but personality is also attractive. 


Lots of Love

Emma Victoria

xoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoox

Lifestyle - How I Get Over Someone & Relationship's

Today I thought I would do a lifestyle post, which is very close to my heart at the moment! I haven't done a little emotional post in a while and thought that now would be a good time to post one! 

So where do we begin? Remember in previous post's (here, here) I mentioned the crazy roller-coaster friendship/relationship thing I was in, well its carried on. However, the past 3 months all we've done is argue, and its come to the point where its pretty ridiculous. I began to get fed up with being treated like an idiot, and also found out he was lying to me. Any surprise he made some excuse about it? I wasn't too surprised. The whole distance thing got to me in the end, and now its been 16 days since we had our last proper conversation, which honestly I'm pleased about. I found in the end that I was always making the effort, starting conversations, keeping conversations going. Honestly? It felt like he just didn't care any more. Why should I care if he doesn't? I've always been one of them people who feels the need to apologise for no reason just so things are easy and there's no arguing, as I can't stand arguing! 

So what did I do to get over him? I did things to take my mind off thinking about him! And now, I couldn't really give a damn any more! Every time I thought about him, I'd have a rubber band on my wrist so I'd ping it hard, sort of a punishment to stop me thinking about him, and now it's worked! Feelings and routine are always that little more harder to change and get over; the thing I did to get out of routine of talking every day to this guy was talk to one of my close friends, my friend Ricky has been an absolute star for me! Every time I felt like an urge to talk to him or I was upset, Ricky would talk to me and remind me why I'm doing this! It doesn't happen overnight, but when you start to look at it from an outside perspective (looking in on the situation, instead thinking of yourself in the situation) you begin to realise why you are doing it, and it will only make you stronger! I'm doing it because I'm fed up of being treated like I have no feelings and that nothing matters in the other persons eyes! You have to be strong and persistent, but also determined to do it. I tend to be weak willed at things like this, but I've tried so hard to do this and get over him, and I will do it!

I think the most important thing to do is to keep yourself occupied, find an activity to do, even in the house when you probably think the most, you need to take your mind of the situation, and if you do think about it, remind yourself why you are doing it! I took cross stitch and knitting back-up, I find cross stitch very therapeutic when I'm upset or angry, it sounds silly, but pushing that needle through cloth, for me, is a release of trapped emotions. Another really important tip is that, don't stop making an effort to look good, because if you don't look good you can't feel good! I found the last time I was left heartbroken and hurt, all I did was wear a pair of jeans, a top and a leather jacket. It was pretty much all I wore, I wore no make-up just because I couldn't be bothered, I let my emotions get to me, which  I shouldn't have done! This time, I'm making the effort, because I know I'm worth it! Even going shopping can make you feel better, because you are looking for items to make yourself look good, and make you feel better! Make that person who hurt you, realise what they have lost!

I must admit, the first few days were a real struggle for me to do, constantly thinking about him, being upset because he never made the effort to speak to me, thinking what I'd done wrong- but I realised I was making all the effort. I'm now at the stage of not caring for this person any more; being friends is a two way thing, it shouldn't be just one person making the effort to communicate. I learn't the hard way, that sometimes things just don't work out the way you think they might. 

Overall, I would say that now, I'm definitely on the way to being over this person, and what they've done to me. Obviously, I don't want to say everything that has happened, cause some bits are private and I'd prefer to keep them to myself. Friends are really important when getting over someone and how they treat you. Even one friend can make a difference, for them to talk to you and take your mind off the situation, can be really important. But you have to help yourself overall, don't go telling yourself something that isn't true like 'Oh they are probably just busy', if they did care, they'd make the effort, especially after 2 weeks. You have to remember, you aren't the one who's lost someone, they have lost you, not the other way round. They've lost the person who is kind, affectionate and caring. 

If any of you wish to speak to me, or need advice, please feel welcomed to drop me a private email (anchorsawaybeauty@hotmail.com) and I will reply ASAP.

Also don't forget to look out for my lovely friend Anja's guest post.. This friday!!

Lots of Love

Emma Victoria

xoxo

OOTW: Travelling

Okay, as I explained in some of my earlier posts, I'm doing my OOTW today, instead of tomorrow as I just won't have the time tomorrow! Tomorrow, I have to go to college for my English Lesson, then the travelling begins... I have to get the train from Lewes to Guildford... then I have to have to wait in my dad's work (which I've never been to before) for around 45 minutes when we will leave to go to Blackpool (staying overnight at my aunt's) to then travel to Burnley for my Great Aunt's funeral on Wednesday  So because of all the travelling, I thought my OOTW would be inspired by the fact that even though you can have relaxing and comfortable clothes, you can still look good too!

Yellow Spot Loose Blouse, Next (SALE) - £8

Black Leggings, Peacocks - £12 (2 pack)

Pink Patent Handbag, Next - £40

Grey Ella 'Ugg' Boots, Amazon - £15.99

My nails are painted with the Mavala 'Touch of Provence' (lilac) and the Rimmel Lasting Finish in 'Hot Shot'. I just have my hair tied up into a high pony tail, however I may opt to have a half up/half down do, tomorrow, just to make it a little more 'chilled'.

Sorry this is a super quick post, but I've been busy at work and packing today and trying to sort out my silly emotions!

Millions of Love & Cuddles!

Emma Victoria

xoxo

Times Change, Memories Fade...

Who would've thought it'd some what end the day after posting my previous post? I most certainly didn't... Well that's it, I didn't follow my heart, I followed my head - but I was reluctant. I haven't ever just moped and cried to myself, while wallowing in bed alone for a very long time, yet this seems to have just happened out of nowhere. I want to inspire, and help others, but how can I achieve this if I can't take my own advice? I always help people with their relationships, but when it comes to my own, I never know what to do, what to say or how to react... 

This past year I've had 2 guys who meant the world to me, one I've known for years, and he became my best friend and the other through a passion of watching Rugby. Lets start with the latter... He moved to New Zealand in December to go to a rugby academy out there, he had a dual passport (British and Kiwi). Now the first guy, he was my best friend, he meant the world to me, and now I don't know what will happen... He wants to stay friends, but staying friends will only break me even more then I'm already broken now. Staying friends, means hiding how I truly feel, and realising what I wouldn't ever have... And now truly, the only thing I want is my ex to come back from New Zealand... We had our problems, but we were strong, and we loved each other, and even if we couldn't see each other, he would keep trying to see me when he could. He fought for what we had, and made the most of what we had together...

I wish I knew what to do, but for now, I will just hide away, and keep quiet...

I will be doing a haul in the coming week or so in between baking cakes and doing party decorations

Emma Victoria 
xoxo

Your Head or Your Heart? ...

I'm confused, really confused. I have been so busy recently planning my dad's 50th Birthday party, sorting my room out with new furniture, working, revising, writing songs etc, I have felt like pulling my hair out and I have completely ignored about how I feel about someone who means the world to me... However, as I said I'm confused, I know in my head we can never be together, but my heart is telling me different. But who do I listen to, my head or my heart? To completely summarise my situation in a nutshell, I've fallen for my best friend, but he lives far away. So what would you do? For now, I will probably carry on, keeping myself busy until something comes up, but until that day I will try and work it out. 

Emma Victoria

xoxo

Valentine's Day Can Be Hard...

Its come to be that day in the year again were there is the segregation of those who are single and those who are in a relationship... Yup, its Valentine's Day; and to be quite honest with all of you, I am dreading it terribly. If you know me personally, you will know I had a very difficult year with relationships last year. One was a long distance relationship and the other was a long term one, which slowly turned into a on-off relationship before he moved away. I am not afraid to show my emotions after months of bottling things up about how I really felt, and the only people I can thank for helping me was my friends. 

How am I going to try and cope? - Okay, well, you can deem it stupid or silly but me and my best friend have actually sent each other a Valentine's Card as we have both recently become part of 'Singleton'. What I am also going to do is treat myself and keep myself busy. I am going to be doing a deep cleansing of my house, top to bottom. I will then bake myself, yes myself, some cookies (death by triple chocolate cookies if you really must know!) and not think about my feelings one little bit. Whether this will be successful or not I really don't know, but I will try my hardest. For me, I won't also be having my phone on me. The reason for this is, my ex who I am now friends with may text me, making me think emotionally of the past. I will try and keep strong, but please, if any of you feel like you are having an emotional breakdown tomorrow, treat yourself, indulge in something you love, because you deserve to be happy, just as much as those people who are in a relationship, if not more. Your knight in shining armour will come one day, until then just keep beautiful!

Tomorrow will be hard for myself, and for others who feel alone or upset, it can feel like everyone around you is in a relationship, and it can seriously play with your mind, just ignore it, easy said then done I know; but if you can ignore one thing, then that makes you just a little bit stronger then if you were to think about. And if you do think about the things you don't want to think about, don't punish yourself. Think of the bright magical future ahead. The past can't be changed but the future can.

You are all beautiful and amazing. And to me, it doesn't matter if one or a million people read my blog, the followers I have, each and every one of you make me happy and feel special that you actually want to read the rubbish I write about! 

Bless You All. 

Stay Safe.

Stay Beautiful.

Emma

xoxo