Lifestyle: If You Want a Gentlemen/Lady...

This post may be a little controversial and it is only my personal opinion on the matter - so pretty please bare that in mind! I don't mind a good discussion but just no arguments please! I did ask on my facebook page whether I should post this or not and the result was yes so here it is...

This is a subject I'm asked about a lot... And it seems as if some people do want the old fashioned way to come back. I'm an admirer of the old school way and the way to act, yes we may be in the modern day but does it hurt to want to be an old school lady every once in a while? 

Issue 1 - Girls...

I often hear a lot of girls (and by girls I mean teenagers around the age of 14 - 16) say they want a true gentlemen to hold the door for them, and be a "man". However there are a couple of issues with this... 

If you want a guy to be a gentlemen, why don't you act a little more like a lady? It bugs me when girls who seem to think swearing constantly and acting like a man will attract a gentlemen... It doesn't necessarily work. For example, if you went for a job interview at a rather posh shop lets say, would you turn up in a skirt that just covers your bum and your boobs on full display? For me personally, I've changed a whole lot in the past 2 years alone - I used to swear all the time and never really acted like a lady, but now I dress accordingly and I act like a lady, I have gentlemen of all ages hold the door open for me, help me with my suitcases and heck, I even had 2 train guards at Clapham junction come over to me, just to tell me how beautiful I looked and helped me put my heavy suitcase on the train! If you want to get a gentlemen, then act like a lady, its really not that hard!

I'm not saying you have to be like the royal family, not at all, but just have manners and be polite and don't dress as if you are working at a strip club... (Personal opinion there... Oh Controversy!)

Issue 2 - Boys
Okay I'm going to be fair here, I feel sorry for you guys. Girls can be real bitchy sometimes and you are just expected to read our minds as if you know everything going on in our heads (dang us girls are complicated!). I only have 2 main issues regarding men... The 1st being don't have that chauvinistic attitude where you tell the woman to "make you a sandwich" or "go to the kitchen" that is not being a gentlemen - that is sexist. A woman will do them things for you if you RESPECT her, not if you are damn well derogatory to her and just expect her to do it anyway. The 2nd issue being... MAKE AN EFFORT. Personally, I'm a sucker for a man in a 3 piece suit (and a beard, but that's a whole other personal thing) and I've been on so many dates where the guy has just made no effort what so ever, I'm not saying dress as if you are going to a Michelin Star restaurant, but making a little bit of an effort with aftershave and a nice pair of trousers and a casual shirt won't hurt! Girls, whether we say it or not, do look for the physical features in a man - not saying you have to be Brad Pitt because each person has their own taste!

Issue 3 - Chivalry
This is my ultimate issue with the whole being a gentlemen thing... I like a man that can hold the door open for me and treat me like a lady but still respect that I am a human being and I can cope on my own. A lot of people, in my opinion, now days seem to think that if a man is chivalrous to a lady, that she is incapable of doing it herself - which is wrong. Another idea is, that people think chivalry is about treating just women correctly... BIG FAT NO. 

Chivalry is about being polite and a gentlemen to everyone, for example instead of just helping a lady you like across the street, why don't you help an elderly person? If you are a gentlemen to everyone, then that will attract the right woman! For me personally, I find it super attractive if a man helps or is a gentlemen to other people. 

Sorry for the rather ranty post, but it's something that is kind of a big deal for me and people often seem to have the wrong perception of chivalry that its just to be used towards women when really you should be a gentlemen all the time! And girls just don't seem to understand that the way you act and dress could attract the wrong sort of person that you don't desire to be with.

Its all about self perception, for me, I want a real gentlemen, not just one who is doing it for the sake of it, but is doing it because that is what he truly believes. 

Any who...

Next Saturday's post will be a review of the Soap and Glory Powder Palette - so nothing as heavy as this post!

Lots of Love Petals

Emma Victoria

xoxoxoxox

Lifestyle - How I Get Over Someone & Relationship's

Today I thought I would do a lifestyle post, which is very close to my heart at the moment! I haven't done a little emotional post in a while and thought that now would be a good time to post one! 

So where do we begin? Remember in previous post's (here, here) I mentioned the crazy roller-coaster friendship/relationship thing I was in, well its carried on. However, the past 3 months all we've done is argue, and its come to the point where its pretty ridiculous. I began to get fed up with being treated like an idiot, and also found out he was lying to me. Any surprise he made some excuse about it? I wasn't too surprised. The whole distance thing got to me in the end, and now its been 16 days since we had our last proper conversation, which honestly I'm pleased about. I found in the end that I was always making the effort, starting conversations, keeping conversations going. Honestly? It felt like he just didn't care any more. Why should I care if he doesn't? I've always been one of them people who feels the need to apologise for no reason just so things are easy and there's no arguing, as I can't stand arguing! 

So what did I do to get over him? I did things to take my mind off thinking about him! And now, I couldn't really give a damn any more! Every time I thought about him, I'd have a rubber band on my wrist so I'd ping it hard, sort of a punishment to stop me thinking about him, and now it's worked! Feelings and routine are always that little more harder to change and get over; the thing I did to get out of routine of talking every day to this guy was talk to one of my close friends, my friend Ricky has been an absolute star for me! Every time I felt like an urge to talk to him or I was upset, Ricky would talk to me and remind me why I'm doing this! It doesn't happen overnight, but when you start to look at it from an outside perspective (looking in on the situation, instead thinking of yourself in the situation) you begin to realise why you are doing it, and it will only make you stronger! I'm doing it because I'm fed up of being treated like I have no feelings and that nothing matters in the other persons eyes! You have to be strong and persistent, but also determined to do it. I tend to be weak willed at things like this, but I've tried so hard to do this and get over him, and I will do it!

I think the most important thing to do is to keep yourself occupied, find an activity to do, even in the house when you probably think the most, you need to take your mind of the situation, and if you do think about it, remind yourself why you are doing it! I took cross stitch and knitting back-up, I find cross stitch very therapeutic when I'm upset or angry, it sounds silly, but pushing that needle through cloth, for me, is a release of trapped emotions. Another really important tip is that, don't stop making an effort to look good, because if you don't look good you can't feel good! I found the last time I was left heartbroken and hurt, all I did was wear a pair of jeans, a top and a leather jacket. It was pretty much all I wore, I wore no make-up just because I couldn't be bothered, I let my emotions get to me, which  I shouldn't have done! This time, I'm making the effort, because I know I'm worth it! Even going shopping can make you feel better, because you are looking for items to make yourself look good, and make you feel better! Make that person who hurt you, realise what they have lost!

I must admit, the first few days were a real struggle for me to do, constantly thinking about him, being upset because he never made the effort to speak to me, thinking what I'd done wrong- but I realised I was making all the effort. I'm now at the stage of not caring for this person any more; being friends is a two way thing, it shouldn't be just one person making the effort to communicate. I learn't the hard way, that sometimes things just don't work out the way you think they might. 

Overall, I would say that now, I'm definitely on the way to being over this person, and what they've done to me. Obviously, I don't want to say everything that has happened, cause some bits are private and I'd prefer to keep them to myself. Friends are really important when getting over someone and how they treat you. Even one friend can make a difference, for them to talk to you and take your mind off the situation, can be really important. But you have to help yourself overall, don't go telling yourself something that isn't true like 'Oh they are probably just busy', if they did care, they'd make the effort, especially after 2 weeks. You have to remember, you aren't the one who's lost someone, they have lost you, not the other way round. They've lost the person who is kind, affectionate and caring. 

If any of you wish to speak to me, or need advice, please feel welcomed to drop me a private email (anchorsawaybeauty@hotmail.com) and I will reply ASAP.

Also don't forget to look out for my lovely friend Anja's guest post.. This friday!!

Lots of Love

Emma Victoria

xoxo

Weekly Overview; June 16th & Life Update!

Hello you lovely lot!

Its that time of the week again, where I will tell you all about my forthcoming week, but its also time for a life update (we aren't including my episode of Horror Wednesday, which you can read here if you really want to!).

Today - Well seeing as its Father's Day, I'm being kept super busy. My gifts which I ordered (over a week ago!) still haven't turned up *sigh*. But I am cooking my dad Dinner tonight (a Chicken Makhani Curry - thank you Hairy Bikers Cookbook for saving my butt). I have already cut the grass today, which has fired up my hayfever, and then I need to do some boring singing training stuff, cause I'm trying to recover my voice and get it back to its normal self before next weekend! Exciting! 

Monday First of all, I get a lay-in... yay! I'll probably get up at 9am (that's a lay in for me so shh!) and cut the front lawn, then I will probably mope around, have a shower and get ready for college at 2, with my favourite teacher Lisa! I finish at 3.20 but won't get home until 5pm, cause public transport really hates me. Then I have my dreaded singing lesson! I won't be able to talk much of Tuesday, so that should be super interesting.

Tuesday Well, the original plan was for college, but considering little old me fell ill with pneumonia last year so I need to go to hospital and see my doctor for my check-up to see how my lungs are functioning! After I will probably mope around at home and do absolutely nothing.

Wednesday I have to get up at 5am, UGH. Too much effort is required for this, but I have to do it, so no point complaining I guess! I have college from 9am-12pm, and my mum will be picking me up cause I completely forget that I don't get home till 2pm with public transport and I booked a driving lesson for 1.30... Good one. And then afterwards, I will be going on a DATE. Yup, an actual date, with a guy. (All shall be explained in the life update below!). 

Thursday I am working, from 6am - 12pm, and then college from 12.30 -1.50! The joys of being a working student... Afterwards, I have band rehearsal! Yup, a 3 hour rehearsal for a big gig Saturday night! I will probably come home, have a sandwich, and again have an early night's sleep. Also, I begin doing my gig prep, so that means no alcohol, or no dairy products until Saturday!

Friday I get a lift to college and back home! College is from 10.40 till 12 which hopefully means we will be looking at the Stray Cats and Polecats in media (fingers crossed!). Today will just be another day of resting my voice as much as I possibly can.

Saturday Today will be spent driving to London and setting up, to perform at a Rockabilly wedding! We have been hired by the lovely Claire and Rick to perform at their wedding reception, which is around 250 people! Claire saw us live when we performed way back in December at the local Social Club in front of a tiny crowd no more then around 40 people. So, we really can't thank the lovely couple enough for asking us to play!

Now, with the weekly overview over and done with I can update you all about my life! Okay so lets start with the fact that since around July last year, I've not felt happy once, I never saw a point to anything and can't even name one time within that period to around last week when I was happy. After, all my friends nagging me, I finally went to the doctors, it was when I was told I was depressed. Me being, typically me, I thought 'there is no way I'm depressed, other people have problems far worse then mine and cope absolutely fine' my doctor who was super concerned cause this has gone on for a while, and for the fact I have a moderate form of Severe depression, he wants to nail it now, before I get any "worse". So last week I went to my counsellor for the third time, and now that he has finally got me to actually talk about my problems, I can begin to move forward. Many of you know from previous life posts (just look through the blog) that I really don't have much luck with relationships and the fact I have felt hurt by this one person for months. I am so happy to admit, I have moved on. For me, this is a huge step forward to be happy again and over these past 2 weeks, I'm beginning to feel happy again! I have only spoken to the guy who has hurt me, twice over the past 2 weeks, which is a huge achievement to before when I struggled to go a day without talking to him. I also stuck to my guns, and sticking by my word and not giving in all the time and always feeling like I need to apologise to make everything 'okay' with everyone, when it really isn't. I also saw my best friend Charlie again after going months without seeing her! Now, I have also started dating a lovely chap, who also loves rockabilly and is passionate about playing the double bass. However, for now, I want to keep things private and between us, until we are ready to go public about it all! Being back at college is helping me a great deal, especially with my great aunt passing away last Tuesday. There will be ups and downs however, I'm not afraid to admit that I was depressed BUT now I am getting better, its only up from here!

I'm sorry for the super long post, but part of my recovery is to admit to other people that I was depressed, not only to myself. If you ever want to talk about things, no matter how silly it is, please just leave me a message in the comments or via my blog email (anchorsawaybeauty@hotmail.com).

Billions of Love!!

Emma Victoria

xoxo

Advice For The Complicated Mind...

Now, many of you know that my blog is not just about my fashion and my beauty, but also a lot to do with my personal life, which I have shared very openly with you. Recently, I have been so confused with my emotions over so many things that have happened recently, some of which you know and some which you don't, but this will explain everything, but also complicate it some more...

To begin, many of you know, I have a complicated relationship/emotional status at the moment, last night this just got worse. This boy, who I've admired for months, whom I've told you about, we are just friends, but I honestly don't know what to do with myself anymore, I sometimes feel like giving up with my own emotions, I never know what to do, what to say, and I never want to make anything awkward... Now lets complicate what you just read; this boy probably doesn't even know how I feel, (typical teen romance saga I know, but just hear me out!) He probably just thinks I'm that friend who is just always super caring and there for everyone, but he is an exception, I'd do anything for him to be happy or to make him smile, and I'd be lost without him. If you know me outside of my blog, you may know or see me as the loud, happy, bubbly , excited girl who wants everyone to be happy and the girl who gets on with everyone, but when it comes to a guy I like, I become really shy and sheltered, I never want to talk about how sad I'm feeling or if there is something wrong, I always bottle my problems up and lock them in the cupboard. Now to complicate things even more, my ex-boyfriend who moved to New Zealand, emailed me last night. I honestly was not expecting this to happen or for him to even contact me ever again, a small paraphrase which I will share to you from the email- "I'm sorry we ended things the way we did, I feel like such a t**t for doing that to you. You are a wonderful girl and deserve a lot" knowing he still cared about me, even being 11,000 miles away broke and tore my heart and emotions into two. So what do I do now?Carry on as normal and pretend nothing happened, don't reply to the email, don't tell the other lad I love him? Or do I reply, tell the other lad, but wont that just complicate everything more?

Three months ago, my best friend Carly committed suicide; we were really close and we would talk about everything and anything, she was like my personal Jeremy Kyle when something was wrong and I needed help, and I could only ever thank her for what she did for me, but now I feel so lost what to do without her help and advice...

So here is when I come to you, my lovely bloggers and followers, what would you do about this situation if it was you? Would you get in touch with the ex and tell the boy you like him, or don't say anything and pretend everything is okay?

I'd love to hear your response and what you think about it all, and what you'd do!

For now, as I sit here in my room, staring out my windows at the bleak rain drops on my windows, listening to 'Heartache' by the Top Cats, I shall leave you, to carry on completing my summer shopping haul blog for you.

Much Love

Emma Victoria

xoxo

Times Change, Memories Fade...

Who would've thought it'd some what end the day after posting my previous post? I most certainly didn't... Well that's it, I didn't follow my heart, I followed my head - but I was reluctant. I haven't ever just moped and cried to myself, while wallowing in bed alone for a very long time, yet this seems to have just happened out of nowhere. I want to inspire, and help others, but how can I achieve this if I can't take my own advice? I always help people with their relationships, but when it comes to my own, I never know what to do, what to say or how to react... 

This past year I've had 2 guys who meant the world to me, one I've known for years, and he became my best friend and the other through a passion of watching Rugby. Lets start with the latter... He moved to New Zealand in December to go to a rugby academy out there, he had a dual passport (British and Kiwi). Now the first guy, he was my best friend, he meant the world to me, and now I don't know what will happen... He wants to stay friends, but staying friends will only break me even more then I'm already broken now. Staying friends, means hiding how I truly feel, and realising what I wouldn't ever have... And now truly, the only thing I want is my ex to come back from New Zealand... We had our problems, but we were strong, and we loved each other, and even if we couldn't see each other, he would keep trying to see me when he could. He fought for what we had, and made the most of what we had together...

I wish I knew what to do, but for now, I will just hide away, and keep quiet...

I will be doing a haul in the coming week or so in between baking cakes and doing party decorations

Emma Victoria 
xoxo

Your Head or Your Heart? ...

I'm confused, really confused. I have been so busy recently planning my dad's 50th Birthday party, sorting my room out with new furniture, working, revising, writing songs etc, I have felt like pulling my hair out and I have completely ignored about how I feel about someone who means the world to me... However, as I said I'm confused, I know in my head we can never be together, but my heart is telling me different. But who do I listen to, my head or my heart? To completely summarise my situation in a nutshell, I've fallen for my best friend, but he lives far away. So what would you do? For now, I will probably carry on, keeping myself busy until something comes up, but until that day I will try and work it out. 

Emma Victoria

xoxo