Advice For The Complicated Mind...

Now, many of you know that my blog is not just about my fashion and my beauty, but also a lot to do with my personal life, which I have shared very openly with you. Recently, I have been so confused with my emotions over so many things that have happened recently, some of which you know and some which you don't, but this will explain everything, but also complicate it some more...

To begin, many of you know, I have a complicated relationship/emotional status at the moment, last night this just got worse. This boy, who I've admired for months, whom I've told you about, we are just friends, but I honestly don't know what to do with myself anymore, I sometimes feel like giving up with my own emotions, I never know what to do, what to say, and I never want to make anything awkward... Now lets complicate what you just read; this boy probably doesn't even know how I feel, (typical teen romance saga I know, but just hear me out!) He probably just thinks I'm that friend who is just always super caring and there for everyone, but he is an exception, I'd do anything for him to be happy or to make him smile, and I'd be lost without him. If you know me outside of my blog, you may know or see me as the loud, happy, bubbly , excited girl who wants everyone to be happy and the girl who gets on with everyone, but when it comes to a guy I like, I become really shy and sheltered, I never want to talk about how sad I'm feeling or if there is something wrong, I always bottle my problems up and lock them in the cupboard. Now to complicate things even more, my ex-boyfriend who moved to New Zealand, emailed me last night. I honestly was not expecting this to happen or for him to even contact me ever again, a small paraphrase which I will share to you from the email- "I'm sorry we ended things the way we did, I feel like such a t**t for doing that to you. You are a wonderful girl and deserve a lot" knowing he still cared about me, even being 11,000 miles away broke and tore my heart and emotions into two. So what do I do now?Carry on as normal and pretend nothing happened, don't reply to the email, don't tell the other lad I love him? Or do I reply, tell the other lad, but wont that just complicate everything more?

Three months ago, my best friend Carly committed suicide; we were really close and we would talk about everything and anything, she was like my personal Jeremy Kyle when something was wrong and I needed help, and I could only ever thank her for what she did for me, but now I feel so lost what to do without her help and advice...

So here is when I come to you, my lovely bloggers and followers, what would you do about this situation if it was you? Would you get in touch with the ex and tell the boy you like him, or don't say anything and pretend everything is okay?

I'd love to hear your response and what you think about it all, and what you'd do!

For now, as I sit here in my room, staring out my windows at the bleak rain drops on my windows, listening to 'Heartache' by the Top Cats, I shall leave you, to carry on completing my summer shopping haul blog for you.

Much Love

Emma Victoria

xoxo