This post may be a little controversial and it is only my personal opinion on the matter - so pretty please bare that in mind! I don't mind a good discussion but just no arguments please! I did ask on my facebook page whether I should post this or not and the result was yes so here it is...
This is a subject I'm asked about a lot... And it seems as if some people do want the old fashioned way to come back. I'm an admirer of the old school way and the way to act, yes we may be in the modern day but does it hurt to want to be an old school lady every once in a while?
Issue 1 - Girls...
I often hear a lot of girls (and by girls I mean teenagers around the age of 14 - 16) say they want a true gentlemen to hold the door for them, and be a "man". However there are a couple of issues with this...
If you want a guy to be a gentlemen, why don't you act a little more like a lady? It bugs me when girls who seem to think swearing constantly and acting like a man will attract a gentlemen... It doesn't necessarily work. For example, if you went for a job interview at a rather posh shop lets say, would you turn up in a skirt that just covers your bum and your boobs on full display? For me personally, I've changed a whole lot in the past 2 years alone - I used to swear all the time and never really acted like a lady, but now I dress accordingly and I act like a lady, I have gentlemen of all ages hold the door open for me, help me with my suitcases and heck, I even had 2 train guards at Clapham junction come over to me, just to tell me how beautiful I looked and helped me put my heavy suitcase on the train! If you want to get a gentlemen, then act like a lady, its really not that hard!
I'm not saying you have to be like the royal family, not at all, but just have manners and be polite and don't dress as if you are working at a strip club... (Personal opinion there... Oh Controversy!)
Issue 2 - Boys
Okay I'm going to be fair here, I feel sorry for you guys. Girls can be real bitchy sometimes and you are just expected to read our minds as if you know everything going on in our heads (dang us girls are complicated!). I only have 2 main issues regarding men... The 1st being don't have that chauvinistic attitude where you tell the woman to "make you a sandwich" or "go to the kitchen" that is not being a gentlemen - that is sexist. A woman will do them things for you if you RESPECT her, not if you are damn well derogatory to her and just expect her to do it anyway. The 2nd issue being... MAKE AN EFFORT. Personally, I'm a sucker for a man in a 3 piece suit (and a beard, but that's a whole other personal thing) and I've been on so many dates where the guy has just made no effort what so ever, I'm not saying dress as if you are going to a Michelin Star restaurant, but making a little bit of an effort with aftershave and a nice pair of trousers and a casual shirt won't hurt! Girls, whether we say it or not, do look for the physical features in a man - not saying you have to be Brad Pitt because each person has their own taste!
Issue 3 - Chivalry
This is my ultimate issue with the whole being a gentlemen thing... I like a man that can hold the door open for me and treat me like a lady but still respect that I am a human being and I can cope on my own. A lot of people, in my opinion, now days seem to think that if a man is chivalrous to a lady, that she is incapable of doing it herself - which is wrong. Another idea is, that people think chivalry is about treating just women correctly... BIG FAT NO.
Chivalry is about being polite and a gentlemen to everyone, for example instead of just helping a lady you like across the street, why don't you help an elderly person? If you are a gentlemen to everyone, then that will attract the right woman! For me personally, I find it super attractive if a man helps or is a gentlemen to other people.
Sorry for the rather ranty post, but it's something that is kind of a big deal for me and people often seem to have the wrong perception of chivalry that its just to be used towards women when really you should be a gentlemen all the time! And girls just don't seem to understand that the way you act and dress could attract the wrong sort of person that you don't desire to be with.
Its all about self perception, for me, I want a real gentlemen, not just one who is doing it for the sake of it, but is doing it because that is what he truly believes.
Any who...
Next Saturday's post will be a review of the Soap and Glory Powder Palette - so nothing as heavy as this post!
Lots of Love Petals
Emma Victoria
xoxoxoxox
Today I thought I would do a lifestyle post, which is very close to my heart at the moment! I haven't done a little emotional post in a while and thought that now would be a good time to post one!
So where do we begin? Remember in previous post's (here, here) I mentioned the crazy roller-coaster friendship/relationship thing I was in, well its carried on. However, the past 3 months all we've done is argue, and its come to the point where its pretty ridiculous. I began to get fed up with being treated like an idiot, and also found out he was lying to me. Any surprise he made some excuse about it? I wasn't too surprised. The whole distance thing got to me in the end, and now its been 16 days since we had our last proper conversation, which honestly I'm pleased about. I found in the end that I was always making the effort, starting conversations, keeping conversations going. Honestly? It felt like he just didn't care any more. Why should I care if he doesn't? I've always been one of them people who feels the need to apologise for no reason just so things are easy and there's no arguing, as I can't stand arguing!
So what did I do to get over him? I did things to take my mind off thinking about him! And now, I couldn't really give a damn any more! Every time I thought about him, I'd have a rubber band on my wrist so I'd ping it hard, sort of a punishment to stop me thinking about him, and now it's worked! Feelings and routine are always that little more harder to change and get over; the thing I did to get out of routine of talking every day to this guy was talk to one of my close friends, my friend Ricky has been an absolute star for me! Every time I felt like an urge to talk to him or I was upset, Ricky would talk to me and remind me why I'm doing this! It doesn't happen overnight, but when you start to look at it from an outside perspective (looking in on the situation, instead thinking of yourself in the situation) you begin to realise why you are doing it, and it will only make you stronger! I'm doing it because I'm fed up of being treated like I have no feelings and that nothing matters in the other persons eyes! You have to be strong and persistent, but also determined to do it. I tend to be weak willed at things like this, but I've tried so hard to do this and get over him, and I will do it!
I think the most important thing to do is to keep yourself occupied, find an activity to do, even in the house when you probably think the most, you need to take your mind of the situation, and if you do think about it, remind yourself why you are doing it! I took cross stitch and knitting back-up, I find cross stitch very therapeutic when I'm upset or angry, it sounds silly, but pushing that needle through cloth, for me, is a release of trapped emotions. Another really important tip is that, don't stop making an effort to look good, because if you don't look good you can't feel good! I found the last time I was left heartbroken and hurt, all I did was wear a pair of jeans, a top and a leather jacket. It was pretty much all I wore, I wore no make-up just because I couldn't be bothered, I let my emotions get to me, which I shouldn't have done! This time, I'm making the effort, because I know I'm worth it! Even going shopping can make you feel better, because you are looking for items to make yourself look good, and make you feel better! Make that person who hurt you, realise what they have lost!
I must admit, the first few days were a real struggle for me to do, constantly thinking about him, being upset because he never made the effort to speak to me, thinking what I'd done wrong- but I realised I was making all the effort. I'm now at the stage of not caring for this person any more; being friends is a two way thing, it shouldn't be just one person making the effort to communicate. I learn't the hard way, that sometimes things just don't work out the way you think they might.
Overall, I would say that now, I'm definitely on the way to being over this person, and what they've done to me. Obviously, I don't want to say everything that has happened, cause some bits are private and I'd prefer to keep them to myself. Friends are really important when getting over someone and how they treat you. Even one friend can make a difference, for them to talk to you and take your mind off the situation, can be really important. But you have to help yourself overall, don't go telling yourself something that isn't true like 'Oh they are probably just busy', if they did care, they'd make the effort, especially after 2 weeks. You have to remember, you aren't the one who's lost someone, they have lost you, not the other way round. They've lost the person who is kind, affectionate and caring.
If any of you wish to speak to me, or need advice, please feel welcomed to drop me a private email (anchorsawaybeauty@hotmail.com) and I will reply ASAP.
Also don't forget to look out for my lovely friend Anja's guest post.. This friday!!
Lots of Love
Emma Victoria
xoxo
